


Pull Us Through

by aisleybitter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anatomically incorrect zombies, Angst, Friends to Lovers (kinda), M/M, Zombie Apocalypse, there's a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:43:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6458158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aisleybitter/pseuds/aisleybitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zombie Apocalypse AU.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of complete fiction. It does not reflect upon the real life people mentioned.

_What a great day for an adventure_ , Louis thinks. It is a beautiful day; the sky is close to clear of clouds and the wind feels almost hot on his bare arms and cheeks. The yellow grass is quietly rustling under his feet. It is very quiet since it’s only early morning, but it is the _perfect_ time to perform an exploration.

It is not that Louis has never been to this corner of the meadow – he’s been so many times he can’t even count them. He can count at least to thousand, after all. And he’s almost positive he’s been here more times than that.

‘’Every day is an adventure, Louis’’, is what his father always tells him. And Louis plans to remember that. What the saying means is that even though he goes to the meadow with yellow grass almost every day, it doesn’t mean that something new and exciting can happen at any moment. That is why Louis is intently looking around – searching for something unusual - at all times.

It is very quiet this morning though. There are no birds singing, except for the cranky old crow that keeps croaking in the lonely tree on the side of the road, seeming to have had trouble sleeping and quite given up.

Louis, however, is not giving up yet. He’s determined to find his adventure. Since there is no other source of life in sight than the crow, he starts orienting towards the old oak tree that the cawing sounds come from.

Now, the tree Louis knows better than his own pockets. He’s climbed up it a number of times, although his mother keeps worrying he’ll fall from the bough and crack his neck. Louis knows better; the branches are thick and trustable, and he himself is too agile to ever fall from a tree. He has never caught a crow though, and that is what he plans to try to do right now, there being no more promising adventure in display.

The walk to the tree is longer than it looks, the endless sea of swaying grass playing with the sense of one’s perspective. Louis decides to run the last few metres to the tree, and suddenly stops moving altogether when he sees something – something _unusual_ – lying under the tree.

It has sort of nestled into a ball, and that is why it is hard for Louis to determine what is actually is from this far. So he takes a few daring steps towards it and then gasps in realisation. It is a human. A boy!

Louis fills with excitement as he settles next to the boy’s sleeping form and takes a better look at him. There are not many other children where Louis lives, since it is in the middle of the countryside, and his own sisters are far too little to play with yet. Now, his head suddenly overwhelms with all the possibilities that this discovery of his could bring – now that there is another boy in his meadow. Sleeping like he’s completely unaware of this fantastic turn of events.

These thoughts bring Louis to focus again on the boy. He needs to be woken up, obviously. So Louis can tell him how he found him and how they can now start being friends and go adventuring together –

He raises his hand to move a lock of curls from the boy’s face to wake him up, but is surprised by the completely calm sleeping face under. For a moment, he just stares at the gently shivering eyelashes, the rosy cheeks and mouth – and he’s gobsmacked with the overall picture. Suddenly he’s very unsure if he should wake up the sleeping creature after all – one whose kind he’s never quite met before – and he just sits next to him and carefully takes his hand out of the chocolate-coloured curls having not noticed he’d left it there.

The poor crow is quite forgotten – and Louis only half notices when it flies away with slow streaks of its wings, croaking loudly. A misty-winged butterfly takes a break on a dried dandelion right next to him – which he might usually be quite curious about - but he hasn’t got time to focus on it today. What he is interested in is every little move the strange boy makes in his sleep.

The boy doesn’t wake up until after a small eternity – and that’s when Louis himself has half fallen asleep in the comforting shade of the oak tree. The sun is already high up in the sky, and Louis awakes to hear the scuffle of clothes and grass right next to him. He jumps up from his resting position, just to see the other boy has done exactly the same, and is now looking at him with sleep-puffed eyes and confusion.

‘’Oh, hi!’’ says Louis then (he’s never been particularly shy). ‘’I was going to wake you up, way earlier, but you looked tired so I didn’t.’’

‘’That’s okay. I was quite tired’’, says the other boy and yawns with all his mouth.

Louis gets lost on said mouth for a second, but remembers then what he’s supposed to say in a situation like this.

‘’Oh, my name is Louis and I am twelve years old. What’s your name?’’

It’s only now that the other boy seems to take a proper look at Louis, so he doesn’t answer in a while.

‘’I’m Harry and I’m ten.’’

‘’Nice to meet you, Harry’’, says Louis genuinely and offers his hand to Harry. They shake hands after which a short silence takes place. Louis takes a moment to stand up and shake off all the dry grass from his clothes.

‘’So, what brings you here then?’’ he asks after a while, not having come up with anything better to say.

Harry seems to think about it, furrowing his brows a little.

‘’I don’t really remember…’’

‘’How come you don’t remember?’’ asks Louis frustrated. ‘’Did you hit your head? My dad told me about a man who hit his head and did not remember a thing from his past, he didn’t even remember his own name! How crazy is that?’’

‘’That’s pretty crazy’’, Harry notes, removing his shoe to flip it around and shake it. A load of sand comes out and drops to the ground.

‘’But seriously, you might have hit your head. I think you should maybe get it checked’’, Louis insists.

Harry doesn’t seem to be too moved by the idea. He puts his shoe back on his foot and starts pulling on the grass next to him.

‘’Let me check if there are some knots in your head at least’’, Louis offers. Harry shrugs and lets Louis put his hands on his curls once again. There are no noticeable lumps on the scalp, which Louis states aloud and gets another half-effort reaction from the younger boy.

To be honest, the whole thing starts to annoy Louis a little. He cannot understand how Harry can’t remember anything but still seems to be physically perfectly fine. He’s also starting to feel a little bit hungry, as it is clearly close to mid-day already. His mother has to have lunch almost ready at home at this time of the day…

The thought of his mother brightens his expression immediately. ‘’Harry! I know what we must do! We must go to my house and tell my mum about how you can’t remember what happened to you, and she will know what to do!’’

Harry looks at him in disbelief, but Louis doesn’t let himself to be discouraged by that.

‘’Come on! I am sure she can help you. And she might have some food on the stove, it’s been many hours since we had breakfast.’’

The mention of food seems to seal the deal for Harry. He stands up and finally gives a shy smile to Louis. This Louis takes as a definite victory.

 

They half run, half jump all the way to Louis’ home, which is a small farmhouse with green window frames and a thatched roof. A cat is waiting on the door when the boys stumble in.

‘’Oh hello, Dignity’’, Louis greets the ginger-furred animal and lets it in while simultaneously trying to take his boots off his feet. Harry copies the motion, leaving his shoes on the porch.

‘’I’m home!’’ Louis hollers rumbling in. In a few seconds there are two little girls welcoming him home by aggressively hugging and kissing him all over.

‘’Oh goodness, you seem to have missed me! Harry, meet Lottie and Fizzy! They’re my little sisters.’’

Harry politely shakes both of the girls’ little hands and shyly introduces himself. This is when a woman steps to the room looking at the scene curiously.

‘’Well what is going on here then? Oh Louis, where have you been? You were supposed to come home to lunch hours ago.’’ Then her eyes stop to Harry, who is anxiously biting his bottom lip.

‘’And who have you brought with you, may I ask?’’

‘’Oh, hello mum!’’ Louis greets her with not a hint of regret in his voice, ‘’this is Harry, I found him under a tree!’’

‘’Under a tree, you say! But Harry darling, where are your parents? They must be looking for you by now.’’

Harry raises his gaze to look Louis’ mum straight to the eyes and says with a small voice: ‘’I don’t remember. I just woke up, and I can’t remember what happened to my family.’’

This seems to silence the young mother for a second, which Louis uses to his advantage.

‘’You said there was lunch somewhere? I, for one, am starving!’’

‘’Oh, of course. I’ll warm it up for you. And you too Harry, you must be as hungry as him.’’ She looks at Harry with thoughtful, gentle eyes. ‘’And don’t worry about your parents, we will think of something. My name is Jay by the way.’’

‘’Nice to meet you, ma’am’’, Harry says and smiles so that little dimples appear on both of his cheeks. Louis thinks that it would be very hard to not to like Harry, he seems like a charmer.

 

After a delicious meal of bread, meat and root beer, the boys go to the barn to play in the dried hay, which is heaped so that such small things like Louis and Harry can jump from the loft of the barn to the stack without any danger. Louis thinks his never had this much fun, and even though Harry comes across sort of shy and reticent, he seems like a decent fellow. Besides, he seems to loosen up as the day goes on, and the issue with his parents fades to the background as they get more and more into the game.

Having jumped to the pile of hay for just about a hundred times, Louis once again lands on the crinkly surface. Just a few seconds later he hears a thump right next to him, and and ‘’ouch!’’ informing him that Harry has also taken a land. He searches through the hay just to find a curly, giggling boy swimming in it. This is clearly an improvement to the reserved boy who he had met earlier, with his eyes now watery with happy tears and dimples on full display. Louis decides this is a once in a lifetime chance to push his index finger into the dimple on his right cheek, which only makes Harry giggle more. He gently shoves Louis to his back and settles on top of him.

‘’You’re so stupid’’, he says in between his giggles, which Louis immediately fakes to be offended about.

‘’Oh, speak for yourself, Harold’’, he snorts in disgust, ‘’you are younger than me so _you_ are the stupid one here.’’

Harry, however, doesn’t react in the expected way, as he shrinks in sudden qualm, already starting to remove himself from the position.

‘’Hey, don’t go!’’, Louis hurries to say, ‘’I think you’re great. And I like your dimples! And your curls.’’

‘’Really?’’ the younger boy’s face blushes all the way to his neck. He moves to lay next to Louis on the hay stack.

‘’I never lie’’, Louis says, inspecting Harry’s face. He feels like it’s a face that should be touched - all the time - but that would obviously get pretty uncomfortable, especially for Harry. It’s just that it feels like the curly boy is almost inviting him to touch it, leaning closer and bashfully fluttering his lashes, looking at everything but Louis.

The sudden change of energy makes him feel rather weird, so he decides it’s enough hay play for today.

‘’The last one at the house is a _loser_ ’’, he says, not staying to wait for Harry’s reaction. He slides down the stack as fast as he can and immediately starts running. Not once does he look back until he’s at the porch.

‘’You’re in a hurry’’, his mother amusedly states. She’s sitting outside in a garden chair, knitting something. Louis loves his mother especially like this; relaxed and soft, when all the work of the day is almost done.

After a while, a panting Harry appears from the direction of the barn, looking like a mess, which Louis cannot help having a little giggle about.

‘’Well, clearly you boys have had fun!’’ Jay notes and good-heartedly laughs at Harry who’s still struggling with taking air.

‘’Yes…ma’am’’, he says between breaths.

‘’You know, Harry, I’ve been thinking about your situation, and I think it’s best if we wait till tomorrow and take you to the nearest town to the town police. They might know something about your parents. You can stay with Lou tonight.’’ Jay aims her words at both of the boys.

‘’Oh, that’s fun! And mum, can we sleep at the barn?’’

‘’The nights are still quite warm, so I don’t see why not. You should take a blanket with you just in case.’’

‘’Thanks mum! Come on, Harry!’’ Louis grabs Harry’s arm and guides him inside to the house, where they equip themselves with a couple pieces of bread, a flashlight and a blanket.

When they go back outside, the sun has already started setting, painting the sky with all the different shades of pink, yellow and red. It’s incredibly quiet, with just a weak wind trying to mess with the young willows next to the house.

This time they don’t run, the long day starting to feel in their limbs. They don’t speak either, but the silence feels comfortable and natural. Louis keeps glancing at Harry from time to time, but the other seems to be lost in thought.

 

They settle on their huge hay-bed and nibble at their bread-pieces until the exhaustion takes hold of them and they fall asleep in the silence of the summer night and sky full of silvery stars that keep winking at them.

 

In the middle of the night, Louis wakes up to a sound of silent sobbing.

He turns around just to see that Harry has curled up in a ball and is shaking with sobs, trying to muffle them by biting at his fist.

‘’Hey, what is it?’’ Louis asks, which just creates a new series of sobs from Harry. Not really knowing what to do, Louis wraps his arms around the crying boy and tries to calm him down with the comforting whispers that his mother always pacifies him with when he’s upset.

‘’Hey… it’s going to be okay. Just tell me what it is… I mean, it can’t be that bad. We had a fun day, didn’t we? Or do you miss your parents, is it that? That’s perfectly understandable…’’

‘’N-no… it’s not that… not exactly’’, the answer is barely audible.

‘’What is it then?’’ Louis asks patiently, wiping at Harry’s soaked cheek.

‘’I… I think I remember what happened.’’ Harry raises his head to look straight at Louis. His eyes are filled with terror.

‘’Well, that’s great! There’s nothing to be sad about’’, Louis says a bit uncertainly.

‘’I was… just home with Dusty, our cat… and then… my mum came home and she was like really worried and jumpy, and I tried to ask her about it… but she didn’t tell me anything. And then I heard loud banging noises from outside and mum looked really scared… and then, then…’’ the boy is shaking with sobs and something else that isn’t just the cool wind that’s making its way through the wholes in the barn wall and under their shirts.

‘’Just breathe… and what happened then?’’

‘’Then my mum told me to get my jacket and leave the house from the back door, and that has never happened before… I tried to ask why and she just said that I needed to go… that something bad was happening and she was going to go look for my sister Gemma and I needed to run as fast as I could, out of the town, and wait for them… I asked if I could take Dusty with me but mum said no…’’ Harry’s eyes are round with the horror of the memory, and his whole body is still shaking.

Louis tries to control the shaking by tightening his hold of the boy. He has no idea what to think of the story, but the genuine terror Harry is clearly experiencing suggests that this is more than just a bad dream.

‘’Look… I think we should sleep now and tell this to my mum in the morning. She’ll know what to do. I’m sure your mum is waiting for you somewhere…’’

‘’I’ve… never… been… so… scared… in my life’’, Harry snivels into Louis’ shoulder.

‘’But you’re safe now’’, he whispers right into his ear. This seems to finally calm him down a little bit, although his tight grip of Louis doesn’t abate.

The silent sobbing quiets down in a few minutes as the boy on Louis’ arms falls asleep, but he can’t follow, rethinking the story through again and again while drawing calming circles into Harry’s back. This is a moment he often comes back to, even years later, as it seems to be the moment the peaceful, familiar world he’s lived all his childhood in, comes to its end.

 

\--

 

The sound of birds singing wakes him up in the morning. He finds himself all limbs intertwined with Harry’s, who is still soundly sleeping. The events of the night come back to him, which makes him all pensive again. He removes himself from their cuddling position as careful as possible and slides down the hay stack, takes a wee outside and runs to the house, where he knows his mother has already started with the tasks of the day.

He is proved to be right, when he sees her mother next to the stove, seeming lost in thought. The sight of his mother always makes him subside and feel safe, and so it does now. _She’ll know what to do. She always does._

His mother seems to be as delighted to see him as it is the other way around. She opens her arms to give her son a gentle morning embrace, and then continues to stir the porridge on the stove.

‘’How did you sleep?’’

‘’Not that well, actually… Harry remembered something’’, Louis is about to tell the whole story, when an unfortunate interruption takes place: there is a loud bang on the door, followed by a man stepping inside uninvited.

Louis vaguely recognises him to be their neighbour living a few miles north.

‘’Johannah, Louis… good morning. I’m sorry to bug you this early, but there is a telegram from your husband, Mrs… It is marked as urgent. Postmarked in Weatherhampton.’’

He hands the telegram to Louis’ mother, once again expressing his apologies and taking his hat off just to smile tautly and then politely leaving as fast as he came.

Jay doesn’t wait about with the telegram, opening it with slightly shaky hands. Louis notices the change of spirit in her, and becomes a bit fidgety himself. It doesn’t help that after having read the short message, Jay’s face goes a few shades greyer, and her hand stops stirring the porridge. 

‘’What does it say?’’ Louis asks.

There is no answer, which doesn’t exactly reassure him. Now he has no desire to tell about the nightly episode with Harry, and he leaves the house again in an only worsened mood.

 

In the yard he meets a dazed Harry, whose face seems to be a bit swollen from all the crying. The boy avoids Louis’ sharp leer which only makes Louis more irritated.

‘’What is wrong with the world today?’’ he asks meaning nothing really, and definitely not expecting an answer from the other boy.

There seems to be no such a thing coming either, as Harry just looks at him with mere confusion.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’Oh, nothing.’’ Louis kind of remembers that Harry was the one terrified and crying his eyes out last night, so he doesn’t really deserve the bitterness. This, for some reason, makes him think of his father. If only his mother would have told him what the telegram was about!

‘’Thanks for helping me last night’’, comes out of the blue, or more specifically, Harry’s mouth.

This Louis was not expecting, but it definitely makes something melt in his heart.

‘’Oh, it was nothing. And don’t worry, we will find your family. We can go look for them today if you want.’’

‘’I’m not that worried anymore’’, Harry acknowledges with a smile.

Louis starts tugging at his shirt, pulling him towards the house.

‘’C’mon then, mum has made some porridge.’’

 

The breakfast is enjoyed in a disturbingly silent manner. Even Lottie and Fizzy seem to sense the unease that radiates from their mother. She has completely sunk into thought, and a constant worry labels her face. Louis can’t think of anything that could possibly cheer her up. Even Harry glances at her from time to time and seems confused.

Only when they’re all finished, and Harry and Louis start collecting the crockery from the table with the help of the girls, Jay opens her mouth.

‘’Listen children, I just got a telegram from your father’’, she says. This makes the girls yell in delight.

‘’Oh, is dad coming home?’’ Lottie asks.

Jay shakes her head. ‘’No, he’s not.’’ Her voice quivers just a little. ‘’We are all going into town today. Your father tells me it is not safe to stay here at the moment. He’s going to meet us in town and we’ll figure out what to do.’’

Reading the questions on the children’s faces, she stands up and walks to the window. Her eyes look full of emotion looking outside.

‘’We’ll have to leave the cat home.’’

 

And so they leave. They must make a funny picture, with Jay holding hands with Lottie and carrying a backpack with some snacks and other necessities, Louis giving Fizzy a piggyback ride and Harry helping with an another bag of supplies, all of them steadily walking along the road. A strange nostalgia takes hold of Louis when he takes the last look of the house. If he would have known this would be the last time he’d ever lay his eyes on this house, maybe he would not have left in such a childish abandonment. If he would have taken a look at his mother’s haunted eyes and trembling hands, he may have discovered the finality of the situation. But he is a 12-year-old for the last time in his life, and knowing that the upcoming events will take the last bit of his naivety from him, the gods seem to gift him this last moment of happy ignorance.

‘’Are you ready for an adventure, my girls?’’ he asks prancing ahead towards the bend of the road, remembering this is something his father sometimes says when they’re going somewhere. ‘’Are you ready for an adventure, mum? Are you ready, Harold?’’

The girls giggle in amusement and Harry happily joins them.

‘’How can you be so sure this will be an adventure?’’ he asks a hint of seriousness in his voice.

‘’Oh, every day is an adventure, Harry boy. That’s what my dad says.’’

This brings makes his mother take a shaky breath, but he never notices.

‘’Where is your dad, by the way? I mean, I wasn’t sure you had a dad. I don’t have a dad’’, Harry states. He’s furrowing his brows again, deep in thought, which Louis secretly finds quite endearing.

‘’It is the trading season, and my dad is on a business trip with his friends’’, Louis repeats what he’s been told. ‘’But it’s great that he wants to meet us now. Usually we don’t see him before August.’’

‘’Oh, that’s good then.’’ Harry seems satisfied with the answer.

 

The journey continues in comfortable silence. It’s a few miles to the nearby town, and Louis has to put Fizzy down to rest his back. The girl is reluctant to walk apace, which slows all of them down so that the town sign comes to view after they’ve walked a good while and the sun is burning hot above their heads.

‘’Oh, thank god’’, Jay says under her breath.

The others don’t bother speaking, soaked in sweat and limbs already aching. A car drives past in such a hurry the dirt of the road whirls on their faces.

‘’I’ve got a sandy mouth’’, Fizzy discovers. Jay lifts her delicate frame from the ground and rushes forward. The tired boys follow behind with an exhausted Lottie, who can barely stand on her feet. She’s too big for Louis to carry, however.

 

The town is further away from the sign that any of them remember, and after a short eternity Louis drops to the ground to lay on his back and releasing a dramatic sigh.

‘’I cannot walk further! Can we please take a break that is at least like a – few days long?’’

This makes Harry give a snotty laugh, but Jay is not impressed.

‘’Oh, come on Lou, we’re almost there. Look at the girls, they’re being so brave! And Harry too! Get up, will you?’’

‘’I think I might want to take a break too’’, Lottie admits and sits down on the spot.

Harry seems to notice Jay’s frustration and has a little think.

‘’I know what we should do. Let’s have a race to whatever is after that curve of the road.’’

He starts sprinting forward with full speed, and this Louis simply cannot object. He gets up and starts running after Harry, hearing a ‘’wait for me!’’ softly from behind.

He catches Harry quite easily, and zooms past him calling out ‘’bye, see you at the finish line’’ to him.

It’s not a long distance, and he runs past the curve of the road in no time. The view in front of him right after the curve makes him come to a quick halt though, so that Harry almost rams to him.

‘’Ouch!’’ Harry is about to say something, but as he sees the view ahead he swallows all words.

‘’Lou, the town is on fire!’’ he says then, wording both of their thoughts.

The town really looks like it’s on fire. The few taller buildings that are visible from a distance are firmly hugged by a burning flame and there are people bustling like ants everywhere.

‘’Well, who won then?’’ Jay’s voice asks right behind them but fades away. ‘’Oh, dear god.’’

It takes a moment for everyone to gather their thoughts.

‘’Is daddy in there?’’ Lottie asks with a quivering voice. She takes Louis’ hand to his own while biting the nails on the other one.

‘’We’ll have to go save him’’, Louis decides. ‘’Isn’t that right, mum?’’

Jay doesn’t fully answer, but they all start slowly taking steps towards the town.

‘’Stay close to each other’’, she then advises.

 

Coming closer and closer to the town, they walk past a few people, who seem to be as confused and frightened as they are, still carefully gravitating towards the town. When they’ve reached the first buildings, it is clear that people are queuing up and gathering around something, or someone, and they move closer to see what it’s about.

‘’All people must follow this officer here; he will take you to the trucks that will transfer you to a safer place. All people must follow this officer here, please stay calm. All questions will be answered if you just follow this officer here.’’ A man is shouting this to the mass of people, who are clamouring and pushing each other around to hear the instructions better.

‘’Access to the town is not allowed at this time. It is not safe. Please follow this officer.’’

Only now does Louis notice the soldiers standing right behind the shouting man and a few other men, who look like the police. There are dozens of them, and they all stand tall and stiff like a crowbar.

‘’I don’t like this’’, Jay says, ‘’this is exactly what your father tried to warn us about.’’

Louis doesn’t know what she’s talking about but he agrees with not liking the vibe around the men getting the crowd’s attention. The soldiers look even more scary.

‘’We need to get to the town’’, Jay decides then. All of the children look at her perplexed, having just heard that access to the town is forbidden.

‘’Come with me’’, Jay says and they start walking away from the ground. She guides them along the outline of the town, going round it to another entry. It is not a big town, but as they move it comes quite clear that it is heavily guarded and the access to the town centre is near to impossible.

 

The other entrance to the town seems identical to the first one, people trying to get in but a man - who repeats the same errand monotonically - denying all access. The soldiers are used to arrange people into neat little groups - like a sheepdog its herd – which they then start leading along the road somewhere unknown.

‘’They’re going to take us all to a place we cannot come back from’’, Jay mutters to herself.

‘’But where is daddy?’’ Lottie asks with a teary voice. She seems to be old enough to notice the panic in the situation, where Fizzy is still quite small and probably doesn’t understand. Even Louis can’t understand what’s going on, even though he’s trying to stay aware.

Jay purses her lips and tells the children to stay back as she goes to the announcer and shouts at him: ‘’You have to let us in! My husband is still inside of the town!’’

‘’Follow the instructions, ma’am! Your husband has probably already been transferred! Please, settle into groups of 20! Follow this man here!’’

Jay looks furious but she doesn’t say more.

‘’What are we going to do?’’ Harry whispers into Louis’ ear.

‘’I don’t know but don’t worry, my mother must have a plan of some sorts.’’

Harry doesn’t look convinced, and it’s his turn to take Louis’ hand.

‘’This is almost like in my home town, when people were shouting and breaking windows and banging doors’’, he whispers.

Louis doesn’t have anything to say to that, so he just squeezes Harry’s hand in attempt to be even a little appeasing.

‘’As long as we are together, we will be alright’’, he says then, remembering his father saying that years ago. The thought feels extremely comforting, and releases a tight smile out of Harry too.

\--

‘’Darlings, we must try to get into the town’’, Jay says this directly to Louis as if he was the leader of the herd. ‘’You too, Harry. I won’t let you go with those people. We have to find Dad.’’

‘’But are you sure he’s still in there?’’ Harry asks, looking at the thick smoke rising from the centre of the town.

‘’We have to try’’, Jay’s tone is a bit tense.

‘’Well, how?’’ Louis asks then. ‘’There are soldiers everywhere.’’

Jay crouches so that her face is hidden from the people around them, saying in a muted voice: ‘’we will climb the ladder to that rooftop, when the soldiers are not looking.’’

It feels almost exciting. Meaning the good exciting. This is a proper adventure at least. Louis takes it so that he is to lead the little bunch of his, so he answers for them: ‘’alright, let’s do it.’’

 

It is surprisingly easy to get close to the ladder without anyone noticing, as the place is teeming with people who have no time to worry about anyone else but themselves and their families. It is a tall ladder going right to the top of the three-floored building. Louis thinks to himself that normally his mother definitely wouldn’t let him and definitely not Lottie or Fizzy to climb a ladder this high, but this is their only way to get to the town now.

Harry goes up first as quickly as possible, Lottie following him straight behind. Louis climbs next and Fizzy and Jay come last. The climb goes without any problems, and no one seems to notice their suspicious behaviour down behind. Louis makes a conscious decision to not to look down. Adventure is all about looking ahead, after all.

As they’ve all made it to the rooftop, Jay takes the lead again.

‘’Keep down and be careful. We’re high up from the ground.’’

She goes first and starts sneaking forward along the roof holding Fizzy’s hand, who takes Lottie’s. Louis and Harry come behind tightly holding their hands, walking almost in sync, the situation creating mutual understanding.

 

‘’We have to find a way to get down’’, Jay says to herself. The problem is solved when she notices there is a skylight window right at the end of the building.

‘’If only we can get it open.’’

She kneels down next to the window, trying to open it, but it seems to be firmly stuck. ‘’Damn it. We can’t bloody jump off the roof’’, she grouses, hoping the children haven’t heard her language.

 ‘’Ma’am, I think there is a ladder on this side of the building, too’’, Harry timidly notes. Louis could kiss him for making her mother’s eyes light up again.

‘’Well done, Harry’’, Jay says, ‘’I think I will go down first with the girls, and you boys can follow us.’’

She takes a few inquiring steps down the ladder, and helps Fizzy with the start.

They carefully climb down the ladder. The other side of the building seems suspiciously quiet, even though all the noise from the other side is still deafening.

Jay takes both of the girls’ hands into her own and starts walking alertly but as quietly as possible towards the silent streets of the town. Louis takes Harry’s hand again, just to feel safer.

‘’This is really exciting’’, he cannot help whispering.

‘’I think this is quite terrifying’’, Harry answers honestly. Louis smiles at him. He thinks they make a nice little duo.

 

Jay is already a few feet ahead of them, and they need to hurry up. Running seems too loud, as the tranquillity of the place feels quite treacherous.

Louis tries to walk faster, though, when his mother and the girls disappear from sight behind a street corner. He and Harry are so focused on walking they almost collide with the soldier that stops them at their feet and takes a firm grab of both of their shoulders.

‘’Where do you think you’re going?’’ he asks, snail shaped moustache quivering as he talks.

From the corner of his eye, Louis sees the pure terror on Harry’s face. They lock eyes for a moment, and then Harry seems to make a decision.

‘’Run, Lou’’, he breathes out and snatches himself free from the soldier’s grip. This surprises the soldier so that his grasp of Louis loosens for a moment, just so that he can take a leap.

Harry is a few steps in front of him, but he doesn’t turn left where Jay and the girls have gone, but continues running forward. Louis slows down in confusion.

‘’Just go!’’ Harry shouts as he scampers ahead curls bouncing on his head.

 

Without thinking, Louis takes his turn left, losing both Harry and the soldier from his sight.

He runs to catch up with his family. Only when he has reached them, does he look back to see the street empty, the soldier clearly fooled by Harry distracting him.

As his breath calms down, it hits him what really just happened.

‘’Where’s Harry?’’ his mother asks.

‘’He’s gone. The soldier will surely catch him, he’s terrible at running’’, Louis realises aloud. His mother looks at him with apologetic eyes. ‘’He saved me’’, he says blankly.

‘’He is a wonderful boy’’, Jay says sadness in her voice.

 _I will never see him again_ , Louis thinks.

 

\--

 

After this they slow their pace down as they walk closer and closer to the town centre, trying to be as careful and alert as they can be. The girls are clearly struggling to keep up, after walking the whole day and dealing with the dread of the situation. They are too frightened to complain about it though, just holding their mother’s hand tightly and hoping they will get to rest soon.

‘’What if we don’t find dad?’’ Louis asks suddenly. He’s been quiet since the unfortunate events with Harry, and Jay is startled by the sudden noise.

‘’Then we’ll go back home’’, she answers, ambivalence in her tone.

‘’But if dad said it’s not safe home either?’’ the boy insists.

She doesn’t answer this time, a nagging dread creeping up on her again; a fear for her poor children, a fear that everything really is stumbling down here and today, a fear that it’s the end of the world. Because even if she was ready to give up her everything for her children, she could not save them from the end of the world. They need a world to grow up in, and if there isn’t one – then, what really is the purpose of their life?

She shakes the unpleasant thoughts away, as a gleaming light greets them at the end of the street they’re walking on. It’s the flaming light of the dying fire, on the ruins of a house that once was. Not a single living soul seems to be around. The hope of finding his husband is slowly dying inside her, and now she is just desperately searching for a solution – even a temporary one – for the despondent situation.

Suddenly, a terrible sight catches her eye, and she pulls her children behind the corner of a house in order to seal their eyes from it. It’s a man, lying on the ground, his face unrecognisable as his skull is broken apart as if a huge animal just had a feast on him. Right next to him, lies a horrible sight – almost like a rotten corpse, clothes fouled with blood and dirt, skin grey like spoiled meat and face malformed like in a horrible disease. Both of them lie motionless and no sign of life left in them. Jay’s heart beats like it’s about to jump out of her chest. _What is going on? What are we supposed to do now?_

Almost as a solution to her inexistent determination, a loud slam reveals a lurking group of soldiers behind them, starting to yell orders as soon as they notice she’s spotted them. ‘’Lou, take Lottie and run!’’ she hisses to her son, taking Fizzy’s hand and starting running. She’s not particularly worried about Louis’ ability to flee, but what all her mind is now thinking of is finding a place to hide. Almost

as a gift from heaven she spots a door open to a tacit looking house, getting Louis’ attention and pulling all her children inside. She’s already looking for hideouts inside the house when Louis steps in, looking haunted. There is nothing but a dining table in the room they’re in, but the next room seems more promising. There is a wardrobe, looking like it could fit all of the children inside. She takes all her strength to pull the wardrobe forward a bit, estimating a slit big enough for her to fit behind the wardrobe.

‘’Everybody, in!’’ she orders, taking care that Louis and the girls are inside and then carefully closing the door of the wardrobe. ‘’And don’t make a single sound, whatever happens.’’

She hears no answer, which she’s satisfied about. She slides herself behind the wardrobe just before the door in the other room slams open and rough male voices can be heard through the wall.

‘’We know you’re in here! Just come out, it’ll make it easier.’’

Jay catches herself from holding her breath, but the fear of the soldiers hearing her seems like a priority here.

‘’Let’s check up the other rooms.’’

She feels the heavy steps coming through the door to the room the wardrobe is in, the men walking around, chatting inaudibly.

‘’Could they be in this wardrobe?’’ Her heart completely stops beating. She feels the man twisting the knob of the wardrobe door as if he was twisting her heart.

‘’Oh, it’s locked’’, the male voice says, giving up easily. The tight pressure on her chest alleviates. _Louis must’ve been holding the door closed_ , she thinks, the bittersweet taste of pride on her tongue.

She hears the men leave the room one by one, relief starting to spread to her limbs. She doesn’t dare to move though, not before the soldiers have left the building.

 

It takes a time that feels like hours for the men to go round the second floor of the building and then walk back down the stairs and through the rooms downstairs, and then start to consider leaving. They come back to the room Jay and the children are hiding in, taking forever just having a chat Jay can’t make sense of and walking around with heavy pace.

Just then once of the soldiers Jay hadn’t noticed had separated from the group, slides in through the door from another room, perfectly discernible to Jay and as she quickly deducts - horror creeping up on her - also definitely able to see Jay from the spot he’s standing at. It takes a few painful seconds for him to notice and recognise her, after which he drags her out of her hiding place, to the display of the whole squad.

‘’Well, well, well’’, one of the men laughs, ‘’who else but the young mother running away with her children!’’

All the fear and terror of the day seems to fade away as she looks at these men, who are mostly younger than him, looking like nothing but humans. _It must’ve been a hell of a day for them too_ , she thinks bitterly. She doesn’t let a single thought show on her face, though, looking at one of the young men with a moustache with a dead stare.

‘’Where are your children, by the way?’’ the young man asks. ‘’I promise that nothing bad will happen to them, if you just tell us where they are.’’

‘’Oh, nothing bad indeed’’, Jay spits on his boot just to prove a point.

‘’But, if you keep not telling, nothing good will happen to you or your snotty kids’’, another soldier with a shrill nasal voice states.

Jay turns to look at the ceiling – it’s a cream coloured one, with fine spider webs on the corners – silently thanking god for the deep indifference she suddenly feels. As long as those darling children are safe in the blessed wardrobe, her joy is complete.

‘’Alright then’’, the nasal voice says, taking a few steps to face Jay and takes his gun from the case on his belt.

‘’Hey, Bob, are you sure?’’ his friend asks.

Jay sends another half-formed prayer to God, _please give some extra attention to that wardrobe and especially its contents._

 

Inside said wardrobe, holding his sisters’ faces to his chest and cupping their ears - not really knowing why - Louis squeezes his eyes closed and holds his breath, the sound of the gunshots going through him like electricity, damaging all of his organs, the heart not the least. _One. Screaming. Two. More screaming. Three. Four. Five. Silence._

And as heavy steps leave the room outside of their hide, Louis doesn’t believe in God anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10 years later.

 

_The sun is dancing on my pillow. Waiting for me to get up and face the day. Just let me be. Just leave me alone._

Bang, bang. ‘’Louis!’’

_They’ll come and kill you all. There’s nothing you can do about it. When was the last time your life actually was of any use? When?_

‘’Hey, Louis, are you in there?’’

_Please just let me forget. Please, take it all away from me. Please, don’t make me face another empty day._

The door is pulled open with considerable force, after which a tanned, robust looking young man steps in.

‘’Are you alright, mate? I was actually going to take my things and leave, but Zayn said I should first inform you that I’m going.’’

Louis mumbles something incoherent, which makes the other budge impatiently.

‘’What’s that?’’ he asks.

‘’I said, tell Zayn he knows bloody well I’m not in charge of any of you, so you can go whenever and wherever you fucking want to. I don’t care.’’ He moves to sit on the side of the bed and tousles his hair listlessly.

‘’Alright then’’, the other man seems a bit wounded, but Louis pretends he doesn’t notice.

‘’And Niall!’’ he calls out, just as the man is stepping towards the door. ‘’Be careful, will you. Don’t be afraid to use that rifle.’’

With this he gets an enthusiastic bob out of the other. Louis isn’t really worried about him having seen him in action before, but he feels like the small act of care is apt to do wonders to Niall’s morning mood.

After being left alone again, he collapses on the bed once again and turns to look at the ceiling, which is built with large panels of sheet metal. A few holes let the sunshine through, which creates little rays of sun on the floor - dancing peacefully with the shadows of the windowless room - almost as if they were flirting with them, teasing them.

It is very quiet, just a gentle summer’s wind blowing away outside. With quietness there’s always a nagging pain involved these days, Louis finds. Almost as if it knew when he is without distraction, ready to give in to it, ready to just _drown_.

 _At least it keeps me occupied_ , he thinks. _You get bored of being afraid. The days are all the same. But aches, they fluctuate. Like a wound that smarts when you wash it._

To prove a point to himself, he pinches his wrist between the nails on his thumb and index finger. He watches the skin turn white and then burning red when he finally releases.

‘’Would you look at that; a small pinch is enough to get the blood flowing.’’

Suddenly he feels quite stupid laying here by himself, even talking to himself, and knocks off the alarm-clock from the jury-rigged bedside table trying to see what the time is.

‘’Damn it.’’

He doesn’t bother picking it up, but stands up from the bed straightening his back. The room is so small the bed takes most of the space, and the only source of light is the window in the other room, where the girls sleep. Even the roof is so low it would only take an emphatic jump for Louis to hit his head on it.

The girls are obviously outside already, as they usually wake up just about an hour earlier than Louis. Besides, it would be nowhere near this tranquil in the house if they were around. Suddenly the lethal tattoo of the house makes him feel almost spooked out, so he decides to go find Zayn.

 

It isn’t a particularly difficult task, finding Zayn that is, as he is usually found eating breakfast in the deteriorated little shed that they use as a common eatery at this time of day. The young golden-skinned friend of Louis’ is indeed sitting at the breakfast table, chomping on his a little dubious looking plate of sweet potato porridge.

‘’Zayn, my man’’, Louis greets him with faked enthusiasm.

Zayn hardly bothers taking a look at him, clearly thinking about something abstruse and important.

‘’I heard you bullied our best and most devoted friend and fellow a little bit this morning’’, he notes in a slightly judgemental tone. When he realises Louis has nothing to say about this, he adds: ‘’You should have a little pity on him, he truly would give his life for you.’’

This Louis sets off with a snort. ‘’Well tell him to _never_ attempt something like that, and shut up about him anyway, will you? He can take a little bantering. You are just too protective over him, like I could do anything to destabilise him.’’

Zayn gives an awry smile in response to this, putting down his spoon having finished his breakfast porridge. ‘’You are capable of so much more than you think’’, he then says only half serious. ‘’Aren’t you going to eat?’’

‘’Thanks mum, but I think I’ll pass this’’, he vaguely gestures towards the leavings of the orange mess on Zayn’s plate. ‘’We should get to work anyway.’’

Zayn doesn’t object, and they leave the edifice, heading towards the ‘’stable’’ that has the honour of functioning as a home to the only horse in about a 20-mile-radius.

‘’Come on then, Dracula. Show us what those strong ass legs are made for’’, Louis babbles to the poor horse, who is just finishing its morning oats.

 

He hops on the horse, leaving Zayn to take a walk to the ‘’funk ramparts’’, that they are to work on today. They are systematically placed pyres made out of slowly burning herbs and grass that have a particularly strong odour, to distract the Snappers from the scent of humans. It is crucial to check and patch up these fires daily, as in addition to the cover from sight that the trees bring, the insurance of hiding the human scent is essential to the safety of the Hide. It’s not a long distance from the Hide to the pyres, but Louis enjoys the slow sway of the gait of Dracula, taking his time to make the run. When he’s there, he jumps off the horse’s back, going to check the pyres one by one, lighting up the ones that have flamed out during the night. In a while Zayn joins him and they silently work late into the afternoon.

It is a hot day, and thirst reaches Louis before hunger. They only have a small flagon of water that Zayn has brought, which is empty before they know it. There’s nothing to be done but to return to the Hide to recharge their water supplies along with getting some well deserved lunch.

When they enter the eatery, Louis is almost swept down face first to the floor by a surprisingly strong pat to the back.

‘’Louis, Zayn! Where have you been all day?’’

‘’Where do you think we’ve been, Payne?’’ Zayn answers dryly.

‘’Oh, sorry, of course I know. I just… never mind. I was just going to eat, actually, so if you don’t mind me joining you… Janet already ate with the girls a bit earlier.’’

‘’Of course we won’t mind’’, Louis gives a laugh. He often finds himself quite endeared by Liam’s genuine awkwardness that is only due to his overly polite personality.

‘’Where’s Niall by the way?’’ Liam asks as they scoop some thin meat soup to their plates.

‘’Hunting’’, Louis and Zayn answer in unison.

 

They eat their soup with Liam enthusiastically blabbering about this and that, which Louis is quite happy about as the man seems to take no offence in him and Zayn not answering to half of his questions or commenting on his stories. After the lunch they head off to the pyres once again – this time both on foot - in order to finish their work before dark. It becomes dark inconveniently early, but it is not safe to wonder outside of the Hide after the daylight is gone.

Just as the twilight starts creeping in, Liam appears out of nowhere riding Dracula.

‘’Hey boys, just came to check if you need any help! It’s going to be dark soon.’’

‘’We can see that, but thanks for the effort. I think we’re finished here’’, Louis answers shaking his hands trying to get rid of all the dirt.

‘’Has Niall come home yet?’’ Zayn asks from behind him.

‘’Not yet, but we hope he’ll be there when we get back. If he’s not home soon we’ll have to go look for him’’, Liam sounds a tad bit worried.

‘’Oh, stop fussing over him, both of you. He is a smart cat’’, Louis starts walking towards the Hide, shouting out ‘’you two take the horse, I’ll meet you there!’’ to the other two men, who obey him, Zayn hopping on the horse right behind Liam.

 

It’s beautifully quiet in the brush Louis is walking through, a few fireflies dancing around him like tiny little fallen stars. He thinks about nothing really, content in the tranquillity of the moment. He listens to the way his steps scrunch when he walks on the dry grass. Only here could it be this quiet, when the outside world is burning in hell’s fire. _Sometimes you get so lost in hope you forget there is no space for it here._

He doesn’t get to the house he and the girls live in, before Zayn jogs to him informing him that Niall has not yet returned from his hunting trip.

‘’We should’ve sent someone with him’’, he says his voice full of worry, ‘’what do you think, should Liam and I go look for him?’’

‘’If he’s not back in an hour, you go’’, Louis decides thoughtfully, ‘’but I wouldn’t be too worried. He’ll knock on the eatery door in no time, asking for leftover rabbit meat.’’

This seems to calm Zayn down a little bit, and Louis takes his leave to go change his shoes and say goodnight to the girls.

 

They are inside already, munching on apples and having a late night chat.

‘’Lou! Where’ve you been all day?’’ Fizzy asks, jumping off the chair she’s sitting on and running over to hug him tightly.

‘’I was fixing the bonfires with Zayn, nothing too exciting. How about you two, what have you been doing?’’

‘’We made food and organised the cellar for winter with Janet. Boring as hell’’, Lottie answers turning up her nose.

‘’Watch your language, miss’’, Louis warns her.

‘’Oh, fuck off Louis, you get to do all the interesting stuff and we keep rotting here with stupid household work and making porridge for you. Nothing interesting ever happens to _us_! And you keep telling me to not use ugly words like doing that is somehow exclusive to only boys like you.’’ She looks at him with burning eyes.

‘’I think making porridge was kind of nice’’, Fizzy says in a small voice, intimidated by the possible conflict.

Louis doesn’t really have the energy to start exchanging words with Lottie tonight, so he just lets it go.

‘’Alright, it’s time for you girls to go to bed, I’ll be back in a minute.’’

‘’And where do you think you’re going? Why do you get to stay up later than us? You’re only four years older than me!’’ Lottie yells after him, but he is already out of the door.

He doesn’t really get what’s happened to Lottie during these few months; she used to be such a well behaved girl. The matter stops bothering him, though, as soon as the comfortable darkness of the night swallows him up.

 

‘’Louis! Louis!’’

He turns to face Liam, who is shouting at him from behind.

‘’Niall came back!’’

‘’I told you he would.’’

‘’But he brought someone with him… he found him in the meadow… someone who is not from here. He’s shot.’’

This is far more difficult to take in. Louis starts to aggressively think of ways to not get flaming angry in front of Liam, who is definitely innocent. It’s just that, Niall knows as well as anyone that _no one_ anonymous is to be brought to their hide, in the name of safety. 

‘’What was he thinking?’’ he shrieks. ‘’Where are they?’’

‘’Um… in our house, just follow me’’, Liam starts taking broad steps towards him and Janet’s house, that is in sight behind a few oak trees.

They go in the slightly ajar door, and Louis is blinded by the sharp light for a moment. The second he recovers, a shocking grumbling and screaming coming from the other room comes to his attention. He enters the room the shouting comes from, and takes in the view that follows.

Niall is standing in the far corner of the room looking a bit guilty, with Zayn on his side. On the bed in front of them, lies a young man with his eyes tied, a nasty looking shot wound in his leg, that Janet is currently bandaging with shredded bed sheets. The shouting is obviously coming from the stranger’s mouth. He’s also grabbing the sheets he’s lying on with a tight hold. Clearly he is suffering from a lot of pain.

‘’What is this?’’ Louis asks tensely. ‘’Niall?’’

‘’Well…’’ Niall hardly gets a word out of his mouth.

He is interrupted by the stranger, who stops his obscure wailing for a moment, as if he was hearkening what was going on around him. ‘’Please, save me from these maniacs, whoever you are. I’m… hurting… so much.’’

His voice is deep and mellow, almost like melted chocolate.

‘’I see no maniacs here, but whoever it was that tied your eyes, I would like to know what he was thinking.’’ Louis is already fed up with how this is unfolding. He feels like kicking something.

‘’I did that’’, Niall admits, ‘’I thought you wouldn’t like it if he saw the location of this place.’’

‘’Well in that case why in the world did you bring him here in the first place? That blindfold is not useful now that he’s here, it’s only making him feel worse because he doesn’t see what is going on.’’

With these words he takes the few steps to next to the bed, looking at the wounded man more carefully. He seems to have very lean arms and chest, suggesting he’s done some physical work wherever he’s come from, his jaw shows its strength as he clenches it from pain, his hair is long and dishevelled on the pillow. Louis nibbles the blindfold open and pulls it off his face.

The stranger squints his eyes in the light, just as Louis did only a few moments ago. His gaze travels around the room, on Niall and Zayn and Liam’s faces, on Janet’s apologetic smile, and settles on Louis’ face. ‘’Thank you’’, he says, furrowing his brows. Whatever the thing is that makes the man look at Louis’ face longer than anyone else’s, he doesn’t know. 

‘’I think it’s only fair you tell us your name now that we have gallantly removed your hinder of sight’’, Louis states. ‘’I can start, if it makes things easier. My name is Louis, nice to meet you.’’

‘’Louis…’’ the other says, lifting his hand to touch Louis’ face.

He flinches back, so the hand misses the touch. ‘’Oh, that’s funny. Boys, meet my namesake here, he says his name is Louis too.’’

‘’Oh no!’’ the stranger hurries to correct himself, ‘’it’s Harry.’’ He winces as Janet tightens the swathe on his thigh.

Harry. _Harry. I’ve heard that name before._

‘’Nice to meet you, Harry. My name is Niall, I’m sorry about earlier.’’ Niall’s words interrupt Louis’ frenetic thinking.

‘’Well you better bloody be! What if I never walk again? If only I had my gun right now…’’ Harry tears his gaze from Louis, turning it to Niall and raising his voice to angry growling again.

‘’Wait, what?’’ Zayn asks. ‘’What is he talking about?’’ he directs the question to Niall.

When he doesn’t answer, Harry clarifies the situation: ‘’He bloody shot me in the leg!’’

This definitely gets everybody’s attention. First they look at Harry, who seems quite pleased with himself, and then Niall, who looks like he wants to be swallowed by the ground.

‘’You did what?’’ Louis asks in disbelief.

‘’I had to make sure he wasn’t going to run away and tell the army there are people running around here, that’d be the last of us and _you,_ Louis, know that better than anyone’’, Niall snaps at him. He’s clearly had enough of having the blame put on him.

‘’The army?’’ Louis turns to look at Harry, who is clearly dressed up in an army uniform, now that he takes a better look. ‘’Are you insane, Niall? He’ll fucking expose us and we’ll all be dead by tomorrow.’’

‘’Yeah, that’s basically why I shot at him.’’

‘’Why didn’t you just kill him?’’

This releases an offended sound from Harry. He’s back to intensely staring at Louis, which makes his skin crawl.

‘’Because he didn’t kill me’’, Niall answers having regained his confidence. ‘’He could’ve - he surprised me - but he didn’t.’’

‘’And this is how you thank me!’’ Harry cries out exaggeratingly.

‘’Well, as you just heard, anyone a bit less merciful would’ve blown your brains out’’, Zayn points out.

‘’ _Louis_ wouldn’t do that. Not the Louis I knew’’, Harry answers lowly.

This makes Louis almost have a physical reaction. Suddenly the air feels really thick, as if all the oxygen in the room was escaping. Harry is still watching him, as if to catch his reaction.

‘’If you think you know me’’, he breathes out, ‘’you are very wrong.’’

He walks out of the room, and out to take a strong inhale of the night air. It is pitch black outside, just the few clusters of fireflies creating some sort of dim light.

He hears steps behind him, identifying them as Zayn’s.

‘’You know him?’’

Louis inhales again, and it almost hurts.

‘’I used to know him – a long time ago. And for a really short while anyway. Can you please find a way to get rid of him?’’

‘’I’ll just get my stuff’’, Zayn answers and when Louis doesn’t answer, he disappears into the darkness.

After a short while, he’s back with the small leather case his gun is in.

‘’You don’t have to come inside if you don’t want to’’, he says to Louis, who shakes his head and then follows him inside the house.

 

Zayn can be really rough when his in the mood, and even Louis is a little bit scared of him when that happens. His eyes burn a cold, merciless fire and his movements are measured and smooth, like the ones of a cat.

‘’Let’s take him out’’, Zayn decides once he’s back in the room Harry lies in, ‘’we don’t want to get Janet’s bed sheets dirty, do we?’’

‘’What is happening?’’ Niall asks confused. Zayn doesn’t bother answering, but lifts Harry up from his shoulders, trying to support him to stand. Harry cries out in pain.

Louis looks at the scene from a distance – no, actually he just looks at Harry, who seems as confused at the turn of events as Niall. _How could he be the same little boy I found under a tree before any of this happened? How?_ He looks at the tall, lean frame of the young man, as he slowly walks towards the front door supported by Zayn; his endless looking legs, long curls that fall on both sides of his face, his elegantly shaped face that has no hint of the chubby cheeks Louis so vividly remembers. _How?_

As they’ve got out of the door, into the darkness of the small front yard, Zayn releases his hold of Harry and jostles him to his back to the ground. Harry yelps in pain, looking so weak he wouldn’t be able to defend himself if he wanted to. He doesn’t even say anything, just lowers his head to the ground and turns to face the porch, where Louis is watching them.

‘’No!’’ Niall rushes to Zayn looking furious, ‘’I didn’t not shoot him just to watch you do it here.’’

Zayn doesn’t seem shaken by Niall’s outburst.

‘’Louis wants me to do it, so back off.’’

Louis sees the hurt in Harry’s eyes, and suddenly he feels like he cannot witness this.

‘’I… I think I’ll go to bed now, lads’’, he says unsurely. ‘’I’ll… catch up with you in the morning.’’

He takes the few steps down from the porch, hears all of the goodnight’s wishes from the boys, and is ready to turn away, when a weak sound can be heard from the ground: ‘’Goodnight, Lou.’’

He could swear it’s not the deep, musky voice of the Harry he’s met today, but the voice of the curly haired boy who saved his life, all of those years ago. Who gave up his own safety just so Louis could be with his family.

‘’Alright’’, Zayn says, lifting his armed hand to point at Harry with the gun.

‘’Wait’’, Louis cries, turning to look at Harry straight in the eye. ‘’I want him to live.’’

\--

Louis doesn’t sleep that night. He rolls in the sheets of his bed trying to fall asleep, but the events of the night keep his mind occupied. Once the first rays of dawn start dancing on his pillow, he gets up not bothering to wash up or change his clothes. Having got out of the house without waking up the girls, he makes his way to Liam’s.

At the porch he slows down, a bit embarrassed by how early he’s about to make his visit. He calms down when the door opens and Janet steps out sleep already out of her eyes.

‘’Oh, hello Louis! What brings you here at this time?’’ she asks a little bit confused.

‘’I’m sorry to… bother you this early, but I just came here to see the… the prisoner.’’

‘’Oh, I see’’, Janet laughs out. ‘’I don’t think he’s woken up yet though.’’

‘’That’s alright, I’ll wake him up. It’s time for us all to get up’’, Louis states, gives a tight smile to the young woman and steps inside the house.

The door to the ‘’guest room’’ is closed, and Louis opens it as quietly as possible, taking a few steps to get inside and closes it again.

It is very tacit in here, only the faint sound of a few birds chirping coming from the slightly ajar window. In the bed, Harry is sleeping, making no sound. The blood from the wound in his leg has come through the swathe a little bit. His still fully dressed up in the army uniform, that is worn-out and dirty, with a few blood stains on it.

Louis steps closer to the bed to examine the sleeping man’s face. He looks peaceful, only slightly tanned skin just faintly rosy on the cheeks and eyelids. His lips are pink and full and form a little pout as he sleeps. The dark curls create an artful little contrast to the lightness of his skin. There’s a little bit of shadow on his upper lip. Otherwise he seems clean shaven.

As his eyelids shiver a little bit, Louis moves away from the bed, not wanting to get caught staring if the other was to wake up. Instead he concentrates on staring out of the window, into the back yard, which is mainly full of bushes of all shapes and sizes and a few occasional rabbits. 

 _Someone is playing a grotesque game with me_ , he thinks. _They say that every man needs to face the demons in his past at some point. No one ever mentioned that they could be so… so…_

‘’You know’’, a voice behind him coughs out, ‘’I used to dream that I’d run away and come find you…’’

Louis laughs dryly at this, turning around but struggling to look Harry in the eye.

‘’We all were stupid and naïve at one point.’’

He can feel Harry’s curious stare, which makes his face burn.

‘’Then why did you change your mind last night?’’

Louis doesn’t have an answer to this, so he brushes it off with another question: ‘’how were you wondering around all alone when Niall found you?’’

‘’When _I_ found _him_.’’

‘’Whatever.’’

‘’I got lost’’, Harry answers curtly, trying to get to a sitting position on the bed. He winces but bites his tongue in apparent attempt to not seem as in pain as he is.

‘’Does it hurt?’’ Louis asks absentmindedly.

‘’A bit.’’

‘’You got lost, you say? And how exactly did that happen?’’

‘’I was on a mission, with the army. There was a Snapper attack; I ran away, was followed for a while but managed to get rid of it, then I was all alone and lost.’’

‘’Why didn’t you just go back the way you came?’’

Harry lifts his face to look at Louis curiously. ‘’Have you ever been in contact with a Snapper?’’ he asks.

‘’Do I look like I haven’t? Of course I bloody have’’, he spits on the floor to emphasize his point.

‘’Ooh… Janet won’t like that.’’

‘’Will you bite your tongue? Also what did you mean by asking if I have ever met a Snapper? I’ve met enough for a lifetime, believe me.’’

‘’Then you should know that one _never_ goes back to where there were Snappers. Because next time, there will be more.’’

Louis nods approvingly. ‘’That’s right.’’

Harry starts to move impatiently. ‘’What is this interrogation about then? Wasn’t I supposed to be an evil army serviceman who will expose and get you all killed?’’

Louis laughs at that. ‘’If you think that we will be best friends just because I didn’t have you killed last night, you need to have a thorough think.’’

Harry seems a little hurt by that, and doesn’t say another thing. He focuses to look at the ceiling, crossing his hands on his belly.

‘’What happened to the girls? And Jay?’’ he almost jumps in excitement as he remembers this important matter.

‘’The girls are probably having breakfast right now’’, Louis answers, biting the inside of his mouth.

‘’Did you find your dad?’’

The words feel like a stab to Louis’ heart. He tried to bury these painful memories years ago, and now they are dug up again, with an innocent question from an almost-stranger.

‘’You know what, fuck you! Fuck you for compromising the safety of the place and sticking your nose where you shouldn’t! Fuck you for having the talent to look like the most innocent man on earth when you’re being pointed with a gun. I wish you just… evaporated in the air or something.’’

He takes a few hurried steps towards the door.

‘’I’ll tell Janet to bring you some food.’’

And with that he leaves the room, without looking behind.

 

The day moves on very slowly, and Louis makes a firm decision to not to go see Harry again. It’s very hard though, with everyone asking about him all the time. During lunch break, Zayn pulls him to a quiet corner of the room to question him.

‘’What did you find out about him? I know you visited him in the morning.’’

‘’How do you know that?’’ he doesn’t really care, but he wants to avoid the main question as long as possible.

‘’Liam told me. Now, tell me what he said.’’

‘’Nothing much. He said something about having got lost after Snappers attacked their squad. But honestly, not much else.’’

He can feel Zayn observing his face as he speaks, which makes him feel a tad bit uncomfortable.

‘’I don’t believe what you said about knowing him for only a short time. You clearly care about him.’’

‘’I do not! And I didn’t lie about anything. Also I don’t want to talk about it.’’

Zayn silently laughs and gives him a pat in the back. ‘’No need to get all defensive, _Lou_.’’

Louis can feel himself blush and hates himself for it. No one ever calls him Lou, except for his sisters. What else could be expected from Zayn but to pick up on the fact that Harry had called him that last night?

‘’Go fuck yourself’’, he hisses and passes lunch just to have a moment alone.

 

When he’s just settled in with the thought that nothing could go any worse than it already has today, there’s a Snapper warning from the East side of the hide, given by their trusty watchman Allan. He also reports that there are at least seven of them, which means that all of the men in the Hide need to take part in defence.

Louis goes to the house to change his boots and grab his rifle, almost colliding with Lottie who’s already done with her day’s work.

‘’Where are you going?’’ she importunes him as he runs around searching equipment he needs.

‘’There are a few Snappers near the Hide’’, he answers distracted.

‘’Really? Oh Lou, can I come with you?’’

‘’Are you kidding? Of course not.’’

‘’But why?’’

‘’For heaven’s sake, Lottie, you’re a girl! And too young anyway! We’ll manage.’’ He gives her a firm look to seal his opinion.

The facial expression of Lottie’s changes to near-to-crying. She pulls at Louis sleeve as he takes a step towards the front door.

‘’Please, Lou…’’

‘’For fucks sake, Lottie, what is this sudden desire to go kill yourself? Will you take care that your sister eats something before going to bed and doesn’t stay up too late? I’ll be back sooner than later.’’

He gently removes Lottie’s hand from his sleeve, leaves the devastated looking girl inside and closes the front door, releasing a sigh. _I fucking hate today_.

It’s already starting to get dark, but it’s still deathly quiet outside, almost like the calm before the storm. _We just have to keep the Snappers outside of the Hide. They mustn’t get in. That is all._

He joins Liam, Zayn, Niall and a little shaken looking Allan, who is a middle aged man who lost all the fingers in his left hand _‘’when hell came to earth’’_. They are clearly trying to come up with some sort of a plan, even though they all know that with Snappers, there’s really nothing you can plan in advance.

‘’How far are they?’’ Louis asks in a low voice.

‘’Quite close, otherwise I wouldn’t have hurried you so much. We don’t want them to pick up the scent of humans or this settlement is over.’’

‘’Alright, I’ll go make sure they pick up my scent and follow me further away from the Hide and then you’ll shoot them from behind’’, Zayn whispers. He already starts walking towards the nightly meadow, down a small hill. If one didn’t know there was a pack of Snappers wondering on that meadow, they would probably find the scene quite beautiful, a few fireflies flying around and the only sound being the grasshoppers chirring.

The heart on Louis’ chest starts beating faster when he finally gets the Snappers in his sight. In the dark, they only look like shapeless shrubs; they’ve probably stopped to sniff the air, faces lifted towards where the wind is gently blowing from.

Zayn doesn’t seem to be in the mood for waiting around, as he appears in Louis’ sight already running with full speed towards the group of Snappers. It doesn’t take long for them to pick up his scent. It feels like everything goes too fast for Louis to take it in, as in a moment Liam is already whispering in his ear: ‘’Let’s go!’’

They run down the little hill. The penetrating, high snapping of the Snappers feels like it’s slitting Louis’ ears, and he uses all of his power to not to stop running and cover them. He already hears gunshots from behind him, but he himself wants to get to a better position to shoot as his rifle isn’t as acute as Liam’s.

A couple of the Snappers seem to have noticed the smell of them, Zayn’s distraction technique not fully working. Their high-pitched snapping feels deafening and takes Louis out for a moment, so that when he has positioned his rifle ready to shoot, the Snappers have wondered terrifyingly close to him.

They look monstrous in the dim light; their bruised arms and legs unclothed, eyes so deep inside their head they cannot be seen, bottom jaws drooping broken away from their original place, the few hairs on their head solidified with blood. The most brutal looking part of a Snapper, in Louis’ opinion, is the head though, misshapen by the sickness in the brain.

Without thinking, he fires the first bullet, hitting one of the Snappers to the shoulder, which doesn’t seem to destabilise it very much. He shoots again, this time hitting it in the head. It falls in the ground and disappears in the tall lawn releasing a set of loud snaps, almost like the curses of a dying man.

‘’Look out!’’ Liam shouts from behind him, and only then does he notice the other Snapper, on an arm’s reach from him, already baring its teeth. He yelps in shock, falling into his back. Somehow, he can’t find the handle of his gun, and it feels like slow motion how those rotten, misplaced teeth come closer and closer to him.

He hears a loud detonation and suddenly something heavy and slimy falls on him. There’s sticky blood on his face and shirt, as he shifts the carcass of the dead Snapper from on top of him.

‘’Thanks’’, he breathes out to Liam.

‘’No problem, mate’’, Liam answers. ‘’Now, let’s not leave Zayn all alone with all of those other Snappers.’’

 

Niall and Allan have managed to take care of a couple of the remaining Snappers, so there are three of them left chasing Zayn, who is leading them further and further away from the Hide.

Louis knows he’s taking them to a specific place; a ledge with a deathly drop to the river that is especially heavy at this time of year.

‘’He’s taking them to the ledge! Let’s hurry’’, he calls out to Liam and Allan, running ahead as he is a faster runner than the other men.

He reaches the ledge, hurrying to hide under a few bloodberry bushes, just in time to see Zayn tempt the Snappers towards the long fall. The snapping intensifies as the Snappers clearly think they’ve managed to catch their spoil, Zayn standing bare-handed on the edge of the ledge.

‘’Hey! I’m here!’’ Louis shouts stepping out of his bolthole, getting the Snappers’ attention. They start to limp towards him, snapping exultantly.

He can see Zayn lifting his gun behind the Snappers, aiming it at one of them, and on the corner of his eye, he catches Niall in a position ready to fire. _We’ve won this_ , he thinks, heart beating on his chest. _Thank fuck._

It takes only a blink and four loud gunshots and the three creatures are lying on the ground. Louis drops his rifle on the grass, panting softly. They drag the bodies of the Snappers to the edge of the cliff, letting them fall down to the water. Without a word, they leave the scene relief written all over their faces.

As they take the journey back to the Hide, Louis feels lighter than in a long time. The ghosts of the constant snapping still ring in his ears, but it feels good to know the Hide is safe, for now. The grass crunches under his feet and there are a few stars starting to appear in the sky.

Back home, he says goodnight to the boys and takes the few steps to his house. _Now I will sleep for ten years_ , he thinks in his head.

 

He is surprised by the light that’s still on the table in the girls’ room, the clock telling the time is already 3am. But surely, they cannot be awake anymore…

‘’Lou! Thank god, you’re fine. Ew, you’ve got yourself all dirty!’’ Lottie’s bright voice startles him.

‘’Lottie Tomlinson, how in the world are you still awake?’’ Louis decides to not to show her how pleased he actually is to see his happy, beautiful little sister after looking a Snapper straight in the eye.

‘’Oh, I was just helping Janet… Harry’s got all feverish. Also you didn’t tell me Harry was here!’’

‘’Wait, what?’’ the quick load of information makes him want to sit down. He decides to do exactly that, pulling the only chair in the house from the corner of the room to sit down on it.

‘’Janet needed help with Harry, the wound on his leg is probably infected and he’s got high temperature. She told me to go to sleep now, though.’’

‘’Harry’s feverish? Oh, shit.’’ He can feel a headache coming through already. ‘’Is it bad?’’

‘’He isn’t quite himself, he didn’t really answer to any questions… but Janet said her trusty herbs will make him better in no time. I promised to go see him first thing in the morning!’’ Lottie seems quite excited about this new responsibility. ‘’You need to tell me everything about the Snappers though!’’

‘’No, you should go to sleep. I’ll tell you in the morning’’, he stands up from the chair, not focusing to look at anything, the headache already pressing his temples. ‘’I’ll just… pop out for a second…’’

‘’You are going to go see Harry aren’t you?’’ Lottie snickers. When Louis doesn’t answer, she whispers purposefully loudly: ‘’I knew it!’’

‘’Good night, Charlotte’’, Louis whispers with a smile, stepping out of the door.

 

He half runs to Liam and Janet’s house, as if he was driven by a fever himself. Not bothering to knock, he steps inside the fully lit room, where Liam is just taking off his muddy boots.

‘’Oh, Louis!’’ he seems quite surprised, ‘’I thought you were going to go to sleep!’’

‘’Yes, I… I heard Harry was sick’’, Louis hates the shiver in his voice. It’s the same shiver he can feel going down his spine when he thinks of the description Lottie had given him. _He didn’t really answer to questions…_

‘’Oh yes, Janet is with him. She says there is nothing to be worried about, the fever has already gone down a little’’, Liam is happy to announce. This takes some of the painful pressure off of Louis’ chest.

‘’Can I go see him though?’’ he asks.

‘’Go ahead’’, Liam is clearly happy to be helpful. He’s just one of those people.

 

Louis cracks the door open to the other room, seeing that the only light in the room is a half-burned candle on the bedside table, lighting up Janet’s gentle face with a homely orange light.

‘’Oh, Louis!’’ she stands up the second she sees him, ‘’I thought you would come.’’

‘’How is he?’’ he asks almost whispering.

‘’He’s just fine’’, she gives him an encouraging smile. ‘’I’ll leave you two alone. I think he’ll manage the night by himself anyway now that the temperature has gone down.’’ And with that she leaves the room, closing the door behind herself.

Louis steps next to the bed and kneels down there to take a look at Harry’s face. To his surprise, his eyes are open. His eyelashes, just like his cheeks, look wet, and so does his hair.

‘’Oh dear, you must have sweated a great deal while you had the fever’’, Louis laughs out just to say something.

Harry gives him a faint smile, which makes something feel really warm in Louis’ chest.

‘’I’m so sorry for what I said earlier today’’, he whispers then, ‘’I didn’t really think. You must know that I didn’t mean it. I mean, this situation definitely sucks. But I didn’t mean it.’’

He looks at Harry’s gleaming face and emerald eyes, that seem to glow in the dusky lighting of the room. Suddenly an odd desire to touch that face takes over him, so he moves one of the damp curls off the other’s forehead.

‘’You must know…’’

Harry opens his mouth in attempt to say something, but no sound comes out. He furrows his eyebrows in apparent frustration, but then thinks of something.

Louis watches how he – painfully slowly – lifts his hand from under the covers and searches for Louis’ hand that is still resting on the pillow his head’s lying on, taking it in his own and giving it a weak squeeze.

‘’I’ll take that as an accepted apology’’, Louis quietly laughs. Watching his and Harry’s hands intertwined makes his heart beat a little faster for some unexplored reason. Maybe he should explore it some time.

His good mood dissolves though, as he sees Harry’s facial expression change into a really confused one. He starts eagerly tugging at his sleeve, but Louis doesn’t understand until he takes a look at himself.

He’s still wearing the shirt all covered in Snapper blood. No wonder.

‘’Oh, that’s just… we were just Snapper hunting with the boys, a moment ago.’’

He gets a little squeeze to his hand and a worried expression on Harry’s face.

‘’It’s nothing, trust me. It was relatively easy, too. I just was the one to have the luck to give a hug to one of them Snappers.’’

This doesn’t seem to fully convince Harry, but he doesn’t seem as uneasy anymore.

They sit like that for a while, in comfortable silence, the flare of the candle reflecting on the wall. After a few moments, Louis can see Harry’s eyelids starting to droop.

‘’Let me blow out the candle’’, he whispers.

Harry nods, all sleepy already. Louis takes the last look of his peaceful face before blowing out the light from the room.

‘’Good night, Lou’’, he hears then, right next to him, half coughed out and half whispered.

‘’Good night, Harry.’’

_Squeeze._

\--

‘’Why exactly didn’t you tell me Harry was in Liam and Janet’s house?’’

Louis lifts his face from the shoelaces his currently tying, to look at Lottie who’s focused on braiding her long blonde hair.

‘’You shouldn’t fully trust him, he’s not from around here.’’

‘’Oh, you just want all of him for yourself’’, Lottie snorts. ‘’But I’m not going to let you have him. He’s so nice! We had a little chat this morning and he promised to help me weed the vegetable garden when his leg is better. How nice is that?’’

Having finished braiding her hair, she takes a few dance steps in front of her little mirror.

‘’That’s really nice of him’’, Louis answers absent-mindedly.

‘’And he’s become so handsome!’’ Louis looks at her sister’s dreamy face curiously.

‘’I wouldn’t notice.’’ He decides to seal the conversation with that and stands up having put his clothes on. ‘’Give a kiss from me to Fizzy. I have to go.’’

 

Striding towards the common house, where Zayn and Niall both live, he thinks about what Lottie said again. Weeding the garden? Does Harry think he’s now staying permanently then? To be honest, he hadn’t thought for a moment himself that Harry would be leaving very soon. Not with that leg, anyway.

He brushes the thought off when he sees Zayn walking determinedly towards the eatery.

‘’Hey!’’ he shouts out to him, getting his attention. ‘’What’s up?’’

‘’You and your bloody blast of amnesty’’, he gets his answer quite fractious.

‘’What do you mean?’’ he tries to read Zayn’s face, but for once he can’t figure out what’s going on.

‘’There are soldiers as close as two miles South from here, and that is nothing but thanks to your precious curly boy!’’

‘’Don’t be ridiculous. He’s been ill and under strict observation, he can’t possibly have been in touch with anyone.’’

‘’Well could they be looking for him? I don’t know how loyal the army is to their soldiers lost in battle, but the realism here is that we are under a threat, _once again_. Didn’t we just kill seven Snappers last night?’’ Zayn ends his rant with a spit dangerously near Louis’ foot.

‘’Fucking hell, you cannot put the blame on me, you idiot! What do you suggest we do?’’

‘’I don’t know; I was actually going to ask the same from you!’’

This makes Louis massage his temples.

‘’How many of them?’’ he asks then.

‘’Not too many, but they are well armed. Niall said there’s about five of them.’’

‘’About five? Can’t he count?’’

‘’Well we never went to school’’, Zayn gives him a pointed look, which makes Louis swallow all arguments about the matter.

‘’Alright, I’ll have a chat with Harry, he might have an idea of what the soldiers are doing around here. You, go tell Liam that…’’

‘’Are you sure we can trust him?’’

‘’Who? Liam?’’

‘’Don’t pretend you don’t know who. You might have known him when you were a child, but you don’t know him now, not really.’’

Louis doesn’t answer, turning around and starting to walk away from Zayn.

‘’You know, every time when you have nothing to say, you know that I’m right and you’re wrong… that’s just something I’ve learned over the years’’, he hears behind him in a teasing tone. ‘’I don’t know what kind of witchcraft he uses on you but something is clearly clouding your judgement.’’

‘’Leave me alone, for once’’, Louis grouses under his breath. ‘’I know what I’m doing.’’

He doesn’t really manage to convince even himself, but the priority is for Zayn to not notice that.

 

He finds Harry standing in the guest room in Janet and Liam’s house, looking out of the window. It strikes him how tall the other really is; the low ceiling only emphasizing that. His leg is securely bandaged again, and his hair seems to have had a brush, the curls looking bouncy and soft.

 _Louis, you idiot_ , he thinks to himself. _Focus on the priorities._

‘’You look better’’, he gets out.

Harry is startled by that and takes a rapid turn around to face Louis. Louis feels a little bit threatened by the broadness of him; when the other was still lying on the bed he felt in charge at least.

‘’I am better’’, Harry answers and gives him a blinding smile. ‘’It’s quite funny to be up. I feel like I’m a little bit stoned though; Janet gave me something to sooth the pain.’’

Louis doesn’t really know what to say to this, so he answers with an awkward smile.

‘’Oh… well, I still have to talk to you about something.’’

‘’Go ahead.’’

‘’There are a few soldiers wondering about dangerously close to where we are now. Me and the boys are going to go take care of them. Do you have any objection?’’

He’s quite pleased with how that turned out, especially as it immediately kills the smile on Harry’s face.

‘’Why would you ask me that?’’

‘’You might know them. Also I thought you might know why they’ve wondered here in the first place. We need to take care that it doesn’t happen again. Could they be looking for you?’’

Harry turns to look out of the window again, a short silence taking over the room.

‘’No’’, he states then hoarsely, ‘’they just want to have everybody effectively killed. How neat.’’

His tone is full of sarcasm, a side of him that Louis discovers with unease. He doesn’t really understand what Harry is implying either.

‘’Who? Who want to have them killed?’’

‘’It doesn’t matter. They’ll die either way. You go blow their brains out, neatly with a gun, and they’ll thank you for that. Always better than getting them cooked by a Snapper.’’ The sadness on Harry’s face is tinted by the indifference one teaches themselves when life turns to hell. That’s something Louis understands far too well.

‘’You know’’, Louis says, ‘’Zayn doesn’t really trust you. He thinks you’re a part of the pack and should be whacked with the rest of them.’’

‘’Do _you_ trust me?’’ Harry turns to look at him, almost a smirk on his inhumanely pink lips.

Louis mentally slaps himself.

‘’Obviously not’’, he answers fiddling with the hem of his shirt. ‘’I’ve only known you for about a day.’’

Harry’s smile grows into a more endearing one. ‘’I’ll have to work on that.’’

‘’ _If_ you get the chance.’’

‘’Are you seriously telling me that you’ve come here to ask me if you should finish me off?’’ he laughs a whole-hearted laugh, touching his hair as if he was checking if it’s still there. ‘’You’re a mystery, Louis Tomlinson! I’d give all of the loose pennies from my mother’s savings for some of the thoughts inside that head of yours.’’

‘’You don’t even have money with you’’, Louis points out, deep in thought.

‘’Oh, what a shame! I’d have to pay in sexual favours.’’

Louis can feel himself blush. Alright then, Harry has won this round. But not the next one.

‘’Alright, I’ve decided what we’re going to do. You’re coming with us to meet the army boys. You can take the horse since you’re an invalid.’’

\--

The journey to where the soldiers are reported to be situated, Louis travels bemused. Liam has gone ahead with Dracula and Harry, Zayn is walking right next to him, giving him his privacy. Louis is endlessly grateful for Zayn, who knows when to leave him alone.

He is determined to show Zayn that his famous judgement is still there, and the fact that Harry pretends to be friends with him doesn’t change that. The thought that Harry might have some kind of impact on him almost makes him give shivers. _He’s become very clever_ , he thinks, _even I almost fell for it. Almost._

‘’So what’s the plan?’’ Zayn asks, pulling him away from his thoughts.

‘’What plan? We’ll kill the intruders, chop chop, that’s it.’’

‘’But why is Harry with us?’’

Louis doesn’t answer, kicking stones as he walks, gritting his teeth. _Harry_.

‘’He’s bloody disgusting.’’

Zayn barks a laugh. ‘’And why is that?’’

‘’He thinks he owns the world’’, Louis answers, gladly allowing the anger bubble inside of him, ‘’he thinks he can make anyone do anything for him just because… just because he has that kind of charisma.’’

‘’Well what are you going to do about it?’’ Zayn must know he’s encouraging him.

‘’Show him that he’s wrong’’, Louis says matter-of-factly, taking pleasure in the words.

Zayn seems happy with the answer too, not saying anything more. They walk the last mile deep in thought, but not bothered by each other’s presence.

 

They come to a halt on the top of a hill, where they have a good view to the treeless meadow down in front of them. There are, indeed, a few soldiers sitting in the shade the only tree of the whole scene.

‘’Oh, hi’’, Liam whispers to them from a few feet left of them. He’s tied Dracula from its bridle to a tree. Harry is sitting on the ground, crunching on an apple. The sight of him makes Louis want to look away. Maybe it’s disgust, maybe it’s guilt. It’s unpleasant, that’s for sure.

‘’Alright’’, he says to take the charge of the situation, ‘’they seem to not be waiting for an attack at the moment, so it’s the perfect time for a little surprise. There are only five of them, so I think we might be able to kick their asses before they even know what got them.’’

‘’There’s a place with an excellent range just a short walk left along the side of the hill’’, Liam informs them. ‘’I’ll go there and you boys can go down the hill and surprise them from behind.’’

‘’Brilliant.’’

‘’What about me?’’ Harry asks from the ground, spitting an apple seed from his mouth and forming a pout. Louis could kick him.

‘’You stay here’’, he says curtly.

‘’Or I could just steal the horse and never see you guys again’’, is the impertinent answer.

‘’Liam will take the horse with him’’, Louis decides and turns around not wanting to take the conversation any further. He walks Liam and Zayn away from Harry’s hearing and they go over the plan once again.

‘’Leave one of them alive’’, he says then.

‘’But why?’’ Liam asks in confusion. Zayn, however, seems to get it.

‘’Just do it’’, he hisses to Liam and starts already walking to the direction they’re supposed to go. Louis follows him after giving a friendly pat on Liam’s back.

 

After they’re within the shooting range, Louis searches Liam from behind the vegetation, and having found him already in position, tells Zayn to get ready as well.

He lifts the rifle to aim it towards one of the soldiers, who is clearly unaware of what is about to happen to him. ‘’Now!’’ he shouts then, pulling the trigger.

After he recovers from the back kick of the shot, he sees three men down already. The remaining two are reaching for their guns in panic.

Liam’s well aimed shot kills down one of them, leaving only the one standing. He’s a scrawny looking guy, only a young boy judging by how he’s built, with bright ginger hair.

‘’Drop your gun!’’ Louis shouts to the boy, running closer to him with the gun aimed towards him. ‘’Drop it now or you’ll die at this very moment.’’

The other, looking nothing but frightened, obediently drops the rifle he had been holding on the ground and lifts his hands to express surrender.

Zayn rushes to him to hold him in place with rough hands. Louis picks up all of the arms and pellets he can find, as they’re extremely scarce and therefore valuable for them.

‘’Let’s go then’’, he orders. Zayn starts dragging the poor soldier boy towards where Liam and Dracula are.

 

Once their all back where they started, Liam again ties Dracula to the tree, and takes the armament to his caring. Zayn still has a tight hold of the young soldier, and Louis forces all unsteadiness off his mind.

He walks to Harry, who’s been quietly observing their movements since they came back. The young man is holding his leg, as if it was hurting again, but Louis decides to not to ask.

‘’We’re done’’, he says to him.

‘’You took a hostage too, I see’’, Harry answers, no interestedness in his voice.

‘’You know that we don’t take hostages’’, Louis laughs at him. He gives the hurt leg a little kick to emphasize his words. Harry squeals a little bit. ‘’This one is for you.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ Harry looks at him, his eyes desperately asking: _What do you want from me? What have I ever done to you to deserve any of this? Can’t you see that I’m beautiful and good?_

‘’Show us we can trust you. You must know how to take a life.’’

Harry’s eyes darken with that and he tears his eyes from Louis’ face. _It must hurt to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you_ , Louis thinks, pleased with himself.

Harry struggles to stand up, but Louis refuses to help him, so Liam has to hurry to support him. Zayn hands Harry his rifle, pushing the soldier to the ground in front of him.

Harry takes his time positioning himself in front of the boy, focused on the task ahead of him.

‘’What’s your name?’’ he then asks the boy.

‘’R-raphael, sir’’, the other answers.

‘’No need to call me sir, I’m the same as you. It’s the name of an angel, did you know?’’

Louis rolls his eyes at that.

‘’N-no, sir’’, Raphael answers staring at Harry’s face, that has taken an almost green colour.

‘’Listen to me, Raphael’’, Harry says then, almost whispering, ‘’soon you’ll be with the angels. You won’t have to worry about the Snappers or anybody in the city. I know they can seem a little intimidating, the angels I mean, but at the end of the day they know better than any of us.’’

‘’S-sir…’’

Harry lifts the gun to Raphael’s forehead and pulls the trigger, closing his eyes.

Nothing happens, no sound, no anything.

‘’There are no bullets’’, Harry turns around to look at Louis.

‘’Well he’s about as skinny as you are injured, so it should be a fair wrestle’’, Louis answers, something pressing the heart on his chest. _Not that long anymore._ ‘’If you can’t break the neck of a teenager, we have no use for you.’’

He can hear Liam gasp at that, and something flames in Harry’s eyes. Zayn stays silent by his side. _I hope the bastard isn’t enjoying this_ , he thinks.

Raphael seems to also have realised what is happening, and suddenly he jumps to Harry’s back in such a force he crashes down to his face to the ground. He lets out a noise that indicates pain, both physical and mental.

Raphael doesn’t seem completely stupid, as he takes advantage of Harry’s injured leg, sitting on it so that the other yelps in pain. Harry is about twice the boy’s size though, and he turns them around without trouble so that now he’s on top.

‘’I’m so sorry’’, he snarls to the red-headed boy, pinning him down with his legs, almost sitting on his crotch. He grabs the rifle that dropped to the ground when he fell, whacking it into the boy’s head a few times, so that he loses consciousness.

He places both of his hands on the senseless child’s throat, turning to look at Louis straight in the eye. There’s pure, unapologetic hate in his eyes.

Louis turns away, missing how Harry’s big hands press against Raphael’s throat, strangling him.

 _He hates me now,_ Louis notes. _Good._

\--

For the next two weeks, Louis doesn’t really see Harry. What he hears of him, is from Lottie and Fizzy who are clearly quite taken with him. Apparently, as his leg has got better and he’s now able to walk short distances, he has been helping Janet and the girls with their daily work. Louis keeps himself busy with building the defence with the boys, pillaging the nearby abandoned farms and in general, wallowing in self-pity.

He kind of hopes that Harry would come to him, just to ask something like where the common house is; but no such visit ever comes. Besides, he could ask the same from anyone, as there is basically no one who hasn’t bought his niceness and gentlemanlike behaviour and wouldn’t help him with anything if he asked. The most annoying thing is the fact that even Louis’ closest friends have taken a liking to Harry, and seem to have something nice to say about him every time they meet. Basically, Harry seems to get along with everyone except him, who he is avoiding like the plague.

 

He stares at his feet, sitting on a stump of an oak, sun shining through the tree branches to his lap. A bird is chirping disturbingly close to him, interrupting his though process. _I guess the universe knows that I get to never be left alone, so it’s making sure there are no exceptions to the rule._

‘’Motherfucker’’, he hisses to the void. _I guess I’m in trouble for calling the universe with offensive names._ He can hear someone walking behind him. _I’m a cursed man._

‘’Louis!’’ It’s Liam. ‘’Will you come eat breakfast with us?’’

‘’Sure’’, Louis hops off the stump, giving Liam a friendly pat to the back. ‘’I wasn’t having fun anyway.’’

They walk to the eatery, that is fairly empty as it is quite late already. Only Zayn and Niall are sitting at a table, deep in conversation.

‘’Boys!’’ Louis greets them, and after getting an answer, goes to get his breakfast from the so called buffet.

‘’Rabbit for breakfast?’’ he wonders sitting next to Zayn.

‘’Freshly hunted this morning’’, Niall tells him, clearly proud.

‘’Oh, really? Did you check they were healthy?’’

‘’Just the fact that I don’t have your good looks doesn’t make me stupid’’, Niall states, pulling at his piece of rabbit meat with his teeth.

Louis smiles at that. ‘’Well I’m glad you got lucky.’’

‘’It was Harry, actually, he got most of them’’, Zayn states, examining Louis’ reaction.

‘’You had _Harry_ with you?’’ Louis doesn’t really know if he’s allowed to be offended by this new information.

‘’Well, he’s fit for light walking and a beast when handed a gun’’, Niall explains. He’s clearly enjoying the shock value of the news.

‘’That’s why I’d never take him hunting! Think of what he could’ve done to you behind your backs!’’

‘’Oh, stop being so unreasonable. We would’ve been two against one, and moreover, he’s shown no reason to not to be trusted’’, Zayn searches his eyes while he’s talking, but Louis refuses to look at him.

‘’Besides, I doubt he’d let you take you hunting, judging by what he said about you’’, Niall adds. _Is he actually sniggering?_

‘’What did he say about me?’’ Louis can’t help asking.

‘’That you’re the most egocentric person he’s met in his life.’’

‘’Funny that, that’s exactly what I think of him.’’ Louis stands up, only half finished with his meal.

‘’Funny indeed’’, Zayn mutters to himself.

Louis decides it’s the perfect time to take his leave, not bothering to inform the boys of his plan. It’s just that he doesn’t really have one. Maybe he should go cut some wood, just to cool his nerves.

 

He decides to take a short visit home, just to check on the girls. He almost kicks the door open, startling Lottie, who is sitting on her bed, right opposite the front door.

‘’What’s with you then?’’ she asks amused.

‘’Nothing!’’ he snarls. ‘’Can you believe what Harry had said about me? Oh my God, I can’t stand his arrogant ass…’’

Right at that moment someone emerges from his room – _his room –_ their silhouette covering the whole doorway in his right. He turns to look at the other – and who else could it be but Harry, his hair braided and flowers artfully decorating it like a grotesque crown. He’s wearing a loose shirt and trousers that reveal the well-shaped thighs. He is quite the epiphany – and Louis feels lost for a moment.

‘’What did you say about my ass?’’

_Jesus Christ._

He shakes himself from whatever slowed him down for a second, forming some sort of an indifference on his face.

‘’I just heard that you went hunting with Niall and Zayn… and no one asked me…’’

‘’I didn’t know you owned all the rabbits in the area’’, there’s challenge in Harry’s eyes, and Louis knows he’s wrong about this. So he lets it go.

‘’That is quite ridiculous what you have going on in your hair right now.’’ _Idiot. When did I lose all my eloquence?_

‘’Hey!’’ Lottie squeaks from behind him, ‘’I made that! Be respectful!’’

‘’Shouldn’t you be with Janet right now?’’ he turns to give her a pointed look.

‘’We decided to take a little break with Janet’’, Harry answers for her, ‘’if you haven’t noticed, she’s heavily pregnant and can’t work for ten hours a day without getting exhausted. Or maybe you don’t notice these kind of things, being too busy staring at your own bellybutton?’’

‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ Louis asks, annoyed by Lottie’s giggling in the background.

Harry walks past him and sits next to Lottie on the bed, starting to fiddle with her hair. For some reason, this only annoys Louis further.

‘’I’m pretty sure neither of you are pregnant, so you probably have better things to do than braiding each other’s hair’’, he points out.

Without giving an answer, Harry keeps playing with the girl’s hair like a stubborn toddler.

‘’And where is Fizzy? Lottie, you’re supposed to take care of her at all times, especially when Janet is not around.’’

‘’Oh, she’s just taking a walk.’’

‘’Taking a walk? Have you lost your mind? How can you be sure she can take care of herself? Do you know where she’s gone?’’ Louis starts hurriedly putting his boots on, worry starting to creep up his spine. ‘’For fucks sake, how can you have been so thoughtless?’’

Lottie seems to have lost her ability to speak, and Harry’s hands drop from her hair. He has the balls to look a little guilty as he stands up and takes a step towards Louis.

‘’Do you want me to come with you?’’

‘’No, you seem to be able to only cause trouble, so it’s the better the less you get involved with anything.’’ Louis cannot fully express his annoyance at Harry now, though, as all of his thoughts are now on Fizzy and finding her. ‘’Where did she go?’’

‘’To the bonfires’’, Lottie answers with a small voice.

‘’To the bonfires’’, Louis repeats. His hands tremble as he grabs his rifle from the peg on the wall, and without another word he steps out of the front door.

 

There’s no time for calling for the other boys, but Dracula is standing in the stable, which Louis is relieved about. He hops on the horse, having no time to saddle it, and forces it into a hurried canter.

As he rides through the oak woods, he looks around at all times, searching for the auburn haired sister of his. _Please let nothing have happened to her. Please._

As the landscape changes and there’s still no sign of Fizzy, Louis’ heart starts to sink. _She can’t have got this far in such a short time…_

He gets to the bonfires, and there’s no Fizzy. His heart is beating as if it wanted to jump out of his chest, to not to feel this stifling pain and worry anymore.

‘’Fizzy!’’ he shouts. ‘’Fizzy!’’

It’s completely silent. Only the wind dances on the top branches of the few oaks on the side of the forest. ‘’Fizzy!’’

Something strangles his throat. His eyes threaten to fill up with tears. _This can’t be happening…_

He ruffles his hair in despair and frustration.

‘’Dracula! Come here, we need to find her’’, he croaks to the animal, ‘’I need to find her.’’

He hops on the horse once again, guiding it towards the forest, this time going slower to not to miss a single movement in the vegetation.

There’s nothing, though, and after a while that feels like an eternity, he stops to bury his face in his hands. And there he sits on the horse, in the middle of the forest, his world crumbling down around him, no one there to soothe him. The tears start streaming down his cheeks and throat.

‘’Fizzy… oh Fizzy, I am so sorry’’, he sobs, ‘’fuck, I should’ve taken better care of you. I’ve let you down… I’m so fucking sorry.’’

It feels as if all his limbs were losing their strength, and all of the energy he has left is pouring into his hands with the tears from his eyes.

He lets Dracula start taking slow steps forward, being comforted by the soothing back and forth sway of the horse. He still can’t bring himself to lift his face from his hands, so he lets his ride decide the way.

After a while, he hears a faint sound from ahead of him, almost as if someone was calling his name.

‘’Fizzy! Fizzy, I’m here!’’ he shouts back, hurrying the horse to go faster.

When he’s got to a little clearing the sound comes from, he sees that the voice doesn’t come from Fizzy, but someone else who looks suspiciously like Harry.

‘’Louis! She came home! She’s alright.’’ The words feel like balm to Louis’ shaken heart, and he lets out a sigh, wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeves.

‘’Are you alright?’’ He can’t look at Harry’s worried face, raised up at him, feeling his own swelling from all the crying.

‘’I just want to… I’m going home. Can you walk?’’

‘’Yes, sure. You go.’’

And so he brings Dracula to a canter again, a desperate need to see his sister unharmed with his own eyes. It doesn’t take long till he’s back at the stable, the dim night lights of the Hide warming him like home.

As he’s tying Dracula to its stall, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

‘’It’s my fault she left alone.’’

He turns to see Harry, hair dishevelled, a few flowers still sadly drooping from his curls, eyes apologetic.

‘’Will you forgive me?’’

The events of the afternoon exhausting Louis to his limit, he can’t bring himself to say anything. He starts taking steps towards their house.

‘’Alright then, hate me all you want, but don’t blame Lottie for it; that’s the least you can do’’, he hears from behind.

 

As he opens the door to the girls’ room, he’s met with gentle hands around his neck, and a whisper to his ear: ‘’I’m fine, and I’m home now, and I’ll never leave on my own again.’’

Louis can see a few hours’ worth of crying on Lottie’s face, and extends his hand to pull her to the hug too. It feels comforting to feel his sisters’ precious heartbeats on his chest. He releases a relieved sigh.

‘’Don’t you scare me like that ever again, both of you’’, he whispers hugging both of his sisters as tight as he can. ‘’You’re all I have.’’

\--

‘’Lou! Lou, wait!’’

He comes to a halt, recognising Lottie’s limpid voice.

‘’What is it?’’ he can see the distress in Lottie’s face, which makes him think of the worst. ‘’Is it Fizzy again?’’

‘’No’’, Lottie says trying to catch her breath, ‘’it’s Harry.’’

Louis restlessly changes posture. _Of course it’s Harry._

‘’He’s gone’’, Lottie gasps. ‘’He’s stolen Liam’s rifle and left.’’

This is not something he was expecting. It takes him a few moments to form an answer.

‘’Fucking hell.’’

‘’What are we going to do?’’ Lottie asks, clearly worried.

‘’ _You_ are not going to do anything’’, Louis says this as firmly as he can.

‘’Are you going to go get him? I don’t want anything to happen to him…’’

‘’He really should be capable of taking care of himself.’’

‘’No! You always say that if anyone goes past the bonfires alone, they’ll be dead in twenty-four hours!’’

‘’Niall has done that many times.’’

‘’Lou!’’

There are tears forming in his sister’s eyes, and she’s frantically tugging at his sleeve.

‘’Listen, I’m going to think of something. You go back to your sister and try not to think about it too much, alright?’’ he gently removes the delicate hand from his sleeve and pats it a few times.

‘’You promise?’’ Lottie gives him an intense look with her big, round, teary eyes.

He kisses her on the forehead. ‘’Promise.’’

That seems to calm the young girl down a bit, and she leaves him to contemplate the meaning of what he’s just being told. _Fucking Harry,_ he thinks, _I almost can’t recall the time before he came to this place and made everything a big mess. I wonder why nobody else can see how high maintenance he really is._

‘’Louis! Ready for a deer chase?’’ Niall calls out from the stable.

‘’Actually’’, he shouts back, ‘’there is a change of plans. We can keep eating rabbit till we have time for a deer hunt. It’s just that Harry has decided to flee.’’

‘’Really?’’ this seems to surprise Niall too. ‘’He can’t get very far with that leg.’’

‘’Oh, I thought he took the horse.’’

‘’No, it’s here munching on hay like it should be. You’re right, he was clearly stupid to not have taken the horse.’’

_Why on earth would he try to escape with an injured leg when he knows well enough that there is a horse available? Sometimes I just don’t get him._

‘’What did you say to him last night that could’ve made him want to run away?’’ Liam gives Louis a tight smile, clearly aware of what has happened.

‘’Why are you assuming I said something to him?’’

‘’He seemed pretty reticent after having spent the whole day at your place.’’ _Fair enough._ ‘’He took my rifle.’’

‘’And for the sake of that rifle and my sister’s head-over-heels crush, we need to find him.’’

‘’Oh and you yourself are fully indifferent concerning his disappearance?’’ Zayn emerges to the scene just in time to make Louis’ face burn.

‘’Malik, my man’’, he fake-smiles gritting his teeth. Zayn gives him a whole-hearted laugh.

‘’Let’s go then’’, Liam hurries them, ‘’we should probably disperse a little bit.’’

‘’I’ll take Dracula’’, Niall announces.

 

They decide to go separate ways to cover a bigger area. Louis keeps his gun in one hand, walking steadily towards the North end of the hide, where there is some brush before the endless meadow starts.

It’s dead quiet, and everything looks kind of dull and grey as the sky is covered in thick cloudiness. There’s some fog spreading from the meadow. The air feels moist. He can hear his own slightly excited breath.

_Am I angry with him? Was I angry with him last night? What would I say to him if I found him? Would I tell him to come back with me?_

‘’Why did he leave?’’ his own voice startles him in its acumen.

He’s getting to the brush, where it’s hard to see further than an arm’s length, which makes it a dangerous place to wonder around.

‘’He wouldn’t have taken this path anyway’’, he tries to reassure himself, but keeps going forward.

It takes him a good while to get through the young saplings, and when he can finally see a clearance through the brush, he is made to come to a halt by a familiar looking pipe of a rifle.

‘’Hands in the air!’’ a deep voice growls to him, sounding amused. ‘’I should’ve known it would be you!’’

Louis has no choice but to drop his gun and lift his hands in the air.

‘’This time I have bullets’’, Harry notes.

‘’You wouldn’t kill me. I’ve saved your sorry ass too many times for that to happen.’’

‘’Hardly.’’

He can see a hand lifting to touch his face, and he closes his eyes, anger bubbling inside of him. The touch is annoyingly gentle, just a soft embrace on his cheekbone.

‘’What’re you doing?’’

‘’Torturing you.’’

He opens his eyes to see the teasing twinkle in Harry’s eyes, and that’s enough for him to jump on him, knocking him over to the ground so that the rifle drops from his hand.

Harry is bigger and stronger than him, but he’s faster in his movements, which he uses for his advantage. As his got Harry lying on his back on the mud, he sits on his legs for him to not to be able to move.

‘’We need to have a chat’’, he states, panting.

‘’Clearly, since you came looking for me.’’

‘’I came for that rifle’’, he grabs the rifle from the ground, throwing it over his shoulder. ‘’And Lottie was worried about you.’’

‘’She’s lovely.’’

‘’She’s still a child’’, Louis bends over to scrutinise Harry’s face. It’s covered in mud.

‘’An 18-year-old is hardly a child’’, Harry comments, ‘’but I get why you’re protective over her. Being both a mother and a father must be difficult.’’

‘’You know _nothing_ about it’’, Louis whizzes.

‘’You’re right. I’ve always had just myself to take care of.’’ The teasing Harry is almost gone now, a pensive, tired looking one replacing him. That makes Louis feel uncomfortable, as much as he hates the arrogant side of the man.

‘’Well that’s the easy life isn’t it’’, he mutters.

‘’Well, I think that… what I’ve learned is that life is only worth living when there is somebody you would be ready to die for.’’

He looks at Louis with honest eyes, suddenly seeming unaided in front of him. Something budges in his chest. The intensity in Harry’s demeanour makes him feel almost uncomfortable.

‘’You were waiting for one of us to get here’’, he notices then, changing subject. ‘’Why?’’

‘’I was actually waiting for you’’, Harry answers, looking at the cloudy sky above them, ‘’it’s only up to you if I can stay with you at the Hide.’’

‘’That’s not true.’’

‘’Yes it is. And I understand if you don’t want me here, but the thing is that I have no other place to go back to.’’

‘’Won’t they take you back to the army base?’’

‘’They kill everyone who wonders alone. Or they leave them to the meadows unarmed for the Snappers.’’

Louis feels there’s nothing to say to that. He stands up so that Harry can change into a more comfortable position.

‘’If only I would have had the chance of telling that to Niall before he shot me in the leg’’, Harry laughs out, sitting up. Louis smiles at that.

‘’But why did you leave? I don’t remember implying that I didn’t want you with us, not with words anyway.’’

‘’Well you think I am a bad influence for Lottie and Fizzy. Besides, I haven’t been able to help with anything…’’

‘’You’ve been helping Janet and the girls.’’

‘’But you still don’t approve.’’

Louis doesn’t answer this, kicking stones to the thicket.

‘’See?’’ Harry says. He lifts his hands to arrange his hair.

‘’Remember when you got the soldier to chase you so I could catch my mum?’’ Louis’ voice is firm and limpid as he turns to look at Harry again, with the same type of openness Harry had expressed a moment ago.

‘’I’ve never regretted it’’, Harry answers, as earnest.

‘’That’s why I can’t leave you to die in here. That’s why I couldn’t let Zayn shoot you.’’ He tears his eyes from Harry again, almost not bearing the turn the conversation had taken. ‘’Sometimes I curse you for doing what you did, because what happened very soon after… but when I look at Lottie and Fizzy now, in this place, where I can keep them safe… I realise it would be very selfish to not to be thankful.’’

He doesn’t dare to look at Harry after saying that, his heart beating fast with the emotional charge of what he just said.

After what feels like several minutes of silence, he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder.

‘’As I said’’, Harry says, he’s voice an octave higher than usual, ‘’that was the best decision of my life and I feel blessed to have seen what’s happened to you guys. I used to wonder a lot where you were and how you were doing. When things were really shit’’ – he stops for a sharp inhale – ‘’I used to take comfort in thinking you were with your family, safe somewhere.’’

Louis can feel a huge lump on his throat.

‘’We should be getting back.’’

 

He starts taking steps back towards the Hide, starting to walk faster only when he’s heard Harry stand up and start following him. A strange feeling settles in his heart – as if hearing those confident steps behind him was grounding him somehow, almost comforting him. A lonely jackdaw shrieks probably something inappropriate in its bird language from above him. A small smile threatens to spread on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age gap between Louis and Lottie is smaller than in real life, for the sake of the story.


End file.
